GRIEF
Shock, Disbelief,
Anger, Fear, Anxiety, Denial,
Tears, Sadness, Resentment, Guilt,
Difficulty Concentrating, Depression,
Helplessness, Hopelessness, Confusion,
Unusual Auditory, Visual, Olfactory Experiences,
Joy, Laughter, Regret, Hope,
Jealousy, Physical Distress,
Recurring Memories, Loneliness, Despair,
Feeling out of Control or Insecure,
Questioning, Blame, Love,
Healing, Gratitude, Forgiveness
Grief is a normal and healthy response to death and loss. People grieving sudden traumatic death often experience different reactions than those who have lost family members or friends to natural causes. Sudden traumatic death - whether brought about by homicide, suicide, combat or a tragic accident - often leaves survivors and witnesses in need of special care. Recovery is often a slow and continual process, that can take years. There may be setbacks along the way. The Niagara Grief Center provides information and referrals for short and long term care.
Traumatic Deaths may include
- Accidental Deaths
- Combat Deaths
- Drowning
- Farm and Industrial Accidents
- Homicide
- Natural Disasters
- Suicide
- Terrorist Attacks
Common Reactions to a Sudden Traumatic Death
Short Term Reactions
- Anger/Anxiety/Fear/Irritability
- Changes in sleeping and eating habits
- Confusion
- Fatigue/loss of energy
- Flashbacks
- Guilt
- Inability to concentrate and focus
- Increased use of alcohol/drugs
Long Term Reactions
- Dependence on alcohol/drugs
- Hyper vigilance
- Inability to trust and feel safe
- Low self-esteem
- Night terrors
- Withdrawal from others
Grief due to sudden trauma death
Those experiencing a sudden traumatic loss go through some of the same grief reactions as those experiencing grief from an expected loss. They may also face many other intense and painful emotions.
In addition to these emotions, survivors of trauma grief may experience a strong and enduring sense of disbelief. In some instances they may feel isolated, vulnerable or embarrassed by the circumstances surrounding the death. They may also have to cope with the memories of the place and time of the death, worry over the pain their loved one may have experienced, and have questions about how their loved one died.
They may feel intense anger at the person or persons responsible for their loved one's death or at the person who died.They may have to deal with reporters, the police and coroners, autopsy reports, court proceedings and learning the graphic details of the death. These circumstances may intensify and lengthen the grieving process.
Grief and trauma grief are normal, natural reactions to the death of a loved one. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone grieves differently whether they are men or women or from the same family. There is only your way to grieve.
Grief has no time limit, and although there may be instances when you feel that your emotions or behaviors are out of control it is important to remember that these are the characteristics of a normal grieving process. You may find that your grieving process follows a series of stages, or it may seem like a cycle or it may have no pattern at all. This is normal. There may be times when you feel you are in the midst of a dream watching others go about their lives. There may be times when you feel everything you have thought or known is now upside down. These are also normal experiences.
Denying the circumstances of the death, postponing your grieving process or using alcohol or drugs to cope usually prolongs and complicates your grief. You can't go around grief, you have to go through it.
The bereaved continually teach us that "closure" is a myth. Many people spend years trying to make sense out of what happened to their loved one and to their family. Many losses cannot be resolved. People learn to adapt and to live without an answer to the question why. Why my loved one? Why my family? Why me? Why now? Why not take me and leave my child, brother, sister, friend. Of course, the Why is not really a question. It is a cry of pain.
Going through the grieving process is painful but essential for healing. Many bereaved people find reading literature on grief or trauma grief increases their understanding and ability to cope. The Niagara Grief Center has purchased and donated several books and other reading materials to the NIOGA Library System. You can search for them through the following link: www.nioga.org
Often it is helpful to spend time with and speak with others who have survived a loss similar to yours. Consider attending support group meetings and seek out others with similar losses. Support groups don't decrease your pain they provide a safe place to grieve, feel your pain and begin to heal.
We can help. The Niagara Grief Center is founded on the belief that every person deserves the opportunity to grieve in a supportive and understanding environment. Education materials and referrals are free.
Call the Niagara Grief Center
(716) 433-3780
Call the 24 Hour Helpline
(716) 282-5432
(716) 433-5432
(716) 692-8800
Supporting Agencies
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